Oct. 16, 1996

"(Do schools) exist to give children a strong foundation of knowledge so they can be well-rounded citizens? Or do they exist to mass produce good little worker drones? ..you don't want to believe that the country's educators could stand for this massive retreat from scholarship."

"The basics are necessary but hardly sufficient. Nobody does these complex problems by hand anymore. "

Those of us in the small-newspaper business have drawn our share of criticism over the years for a lack of quality control. You know, the misspelled names and such.

Thank God for OBE, is all I got to say.

Thanks to the new wave of educational thought sweeping this country, you see, I now have an excuse for all those little miscues which previously fell into the category of "typographical errors." It's called "creative spelling."

Sorry, lady, but I didn't misspell your daughter's name in that engagement announcement; I simply used my creativity. I've always thought "Blerk" was a better name for a girl than "Felicia," anyway.

Oh, that was Taylor High playing that game Friday and not Talroy? Well, hey ... creative spelling. I'm sure the Msutangs won't mind.

I honestly don't know why all those troublemakers keep holding "Education Summits" and writing Letters to the Editor and testifying before the State Board of Education. Sheesh, this is a huge boon for those of us in the media.

Like the other wonderful forms of excusism modern utopians have given us, creative spelling opens up realms and realms of new opportunities. Just think: we could now put out a special edition of the paper just for those people who have learned to read by the Whole Language method.

Of course, it would have to be on videotape, and we'd have to get the rights to Captain Planet to explain why the city mowed the grass in front of City Hall instead of letting it grow to its potential and contribute to the environment in a positive fashion. But hey, it'd sell — especially if we include color charts and graphs showing an upsurge in portfolio assessments!

This new wave of educational thought could also be a boon to those of us who struggle to make ends meet, especially those of us for whom checkbooks don't always balance.

Give it a few years, and we'll be able to send those hot-check notices back to the bank, declaring that we were NOT overdrawn.

"Dear Ms. Banker: This is to inform you that, according to my computations, my balance is NOT negative-$346.50, but is instead positive-$67,423.27. You must have used real math; my solution is much more creative, and I demand a refund."

I feel the collective creative genius of my readers hard at work on that one already.

Unfortunately, I'm afraid those liberal right-wing troublemakers are trying to undermine the establishment of such a wonderful educational system in this state, and elsewhere.

A coalition of Republican and Democratic state legislators will meet Nov. 15 to get the ball rolling on rolling the ball back to the Texas Education Agency on its plan to implement Outcome-Based Education via the Texas Essential Knowledge and Skills.

Some troublemakers in other states are upset enough with the new wave of education to take their case to court.

In Oregon, for example, Robert and Barbara Tennison have filed a lawsuit against the state to prevent it from enforcing the Oregon Educational Act for the 21st Century, because it is "coercive, invasive and discriminatory."

The lawsuit states: "The Act calls for the radical restructuring of the educational system into a process known as transformational outcome-based education ... in which students are compelled to confirm government-approved attitudes, beliefs and opinions ... and to modify their behavior as a condition of advancement.

"The Act ... is based upon an educational and political program designed to train Oregon's children to serve the State and its economic objectives, classifying Oregon's children as 'human resources' to be managed and developed in the same manner as the State's natural resources."

The nerve! The gall!

I don't know about y'all, but I bristle over that. If we start giving kids a real education, who's going to serve me my daily hamburger and fries? Who's going to have a bachelor's degree in advanced lawnmower management? Who's going to wash my car?

What's next, personal accountability for our own actions?